Loving my new “Awkward Cut” jeans.
— Amir Gollan (@AGollan) April 4, 2014
My favorite thing about being 30 is knowing that I’ve gotten past my mid-life crisis.
— Aaron Hertzog (@aaronhertzog) April 3, 2014
I’ll never step foot in a mall again if http://t.co/w9tGlTv5gX figures out how to get my computer to dispense Orange Julius.
— Jim Grammond (@jgrammond) April 4, 2014
Can’t believe W. Bush didn’t include a watercolor of Dick Cheney in his “Paintings of Former Presidents” series.
— Luke Cunningham (@LukeXCunningham) April 4, 2014
My textbooks are really heavy because they’re all about genocide. The more I learn the heavier they get.
— Alex Grubard (@Alexgrubard) April 4, 2014
Yeah RussianRoulette is cool I guess but have you tried browsing engagement rings online while your boyfriend’s next to you only 1/2 asleep?
— Alison (@Alison_lynnZ) April 4, 2014
I wanted you all to know that I’m in a really good place right now (fetal position, greeting card aisle of CVS).
— Chip Chantry (@ChipChantry) April 4, 2014
Prob best they decided to call the movie 'Noah' instead of it's original title 'God Making It Rain Up In Herrr'
— Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) April 2, 2014
Follow @freeforallcmdy on Twitter for more retweets of the best jokes from Philadelphia comedians, information on our upcoming shows, and details about other Philadelphia-area shows that feature some of the comics you see on our stage.