This Upper East side plow delay story is the first time in history that rich people have complained that their neighborhood is TOO white.
— Chip Chantry (@ChipChantry) January 23, 2014
BOSS: Butterly, where are we on that corgi video? ME: Just watched it, sir. Pretty cute stuff. BOSS: Damn good work, Butterly.
— Tim Butterly (@timbutterly) January 21, 2014
Point that finger at me and you point three right back…oh shit my bad dude. I forgot about the firecracker accident.
— Michael Rainey (@mikerainey82) January 21, 2014
Just saw an adorable little girl wearing an adorable little girl sized fur coat. I threw adorable red paint on her.
— Alison (@Alison_lynnZ) January 18, 2014
Oh, they call it Red Roof Inn because of all the blood on the ceiling. #NowigetIt
— Jim Ginty (@Jim_Ginty) January 23, 2014
To all the dwarf planets out there, I’m sorry when I called you midget planets.
— Rob Baniewicz ♛ (@bonyevitch) January 24, 2014
Life: is it futile? And if so, can we still monetize it?
— Doogie Horner (@DoogieHorner) January 22, 2014
The Bachelor said a gay version of the show set a bad example for children. Then he made out with 30 different women & dumped 29 of them.
— Christian Alsis (@christianalsis) January 19, 2014
Today I’m gonna follow my dreams. Which according to last night means I will be in my boxers, sporting a boner at Wendy’s.
— James Hesky (@JamesHesky) January 24, 2014
Aw man that guy yelled. That’s the worst thing to happen in football since everybody who retires kills themself.
— Aaron Hertzog (@aaronhertzog) January 20, 2014
Be careful out there, people in Philly. Conditions are dangerous. Also, it’s snowing.
— Jim Grammond (@jgrammond) January 21, 2014
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