Today we threw away the crib that both of our kids used and was recalled a year before our son was born.
— Tim Butterly (@timbutterly) December 6, 2013
I have a sequined sweater and sometimes it leaves cuts on my arms but that’s STILL FESTIVE because suicide rates increase near the holidays.
— Alison Zeidman (@Alison_lynnZ) December 4, 2013
Man, these fortune cookie fortunes are preachy. Oops, never mind. Dropped my bible in the paper shredder.
— Steve Swan (@stevenhswan) December 4, 2013
If I put it in my will that I want my body eaten by a pack of wild dogs at my funeral would they have to do it?
— Trevor Cunnion (@TrevorCunnion) December 4, 2013
It doesn’t have to be thanksgiving to axe somebody “Yo, you wanna get some of this good-ass bird?”
— Aaron Hertzog (@aaronhertzog) December 2, 2013
This morning, I awoke early, and made the difficult decision to delete the first 70 pages I had written for a Meet the Deedles sequel.
— Chip Chantry (@ChipChantry) December 1, 2013
I’m about to travel 1 mile on foot for fitness.. Some of it will be running, and some of it will be walking, but most of it will be walking.
— Sidney Gantt (@SidneyWithAnI) December 4, 2013
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