No, you are not listening. I would like VERY SPECIFIC Tso Chicken.
— Joe Moore (@thejoemoore) September 24, 2013
I saw a pregnant lady smoking, and when the mom smokes it's like the baby is smoking. So essentially, I saw a really cool baby.
— Steve Swan (@stevenhswan) September 24, 2013
HOPE: (n) The Lord's way of putting off disappointing you until tomorrow.
— Chip Chantry (@ChipChantry) September 24, 2013
Just found out my picture has been used to catfish someone from the girl that was catfish'd, who I'm sure is trying to catfish the real me.
— Sidney Gantt (@SidneyWithAnI) September 24, 2013
I try to eat fruit instead of candy, but it's hard. I can't pick a pear, but I can always pick just the right Kit Kat.
— Jim Grammond (@jgrammond) September 24, 2013
"Yes I have a case of the Mondays and yes I know it's Tuesday!" – me just now -said with Samuel L. Jackson inflection a la A Time to Kill.
— Mikey Gleason ⇧ (@mikeygleason) September 24, 2013
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