I just described someone as "he looks like a guy who would always have a piece of lunch meat on his lip"
— Kevin Ryan (@KevinRyan00) September 19, 2013
I can't understand why a grown man would pay money for a fedora. Just save up your E-Cig Miles and get one for free.
— Tim Butterly (@timbutterly) September 19, 2013
If your answer is "Hit it raw", you're not really understanding your WWJD? bracelet.
— Jim Grammond (@jgrammond) September 19, 2013
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, at least you got to fire a gun from the roof.
— Steve Swan (@stevenhswan) September 19, 2013
There are few things in this world as heartbreaking as having a dog look indifferent while you pet it
— James Hesky (@JamesHesky) September 19, 2013
Someone stole my girlfriend's identity, so now there are 2 people who will deny that I date them.
— Alex Pearlman (@alexpearlman) September 19, 2013
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