“If you have a toy, I must have a toy. If you have nip, I must have nip. If you have a nap, I must have a nap. This is equality.” Meowcolm X
— Jim Grammond (@jgrammond) September 10, 2013
Worked as a security officer. Sometimes I’d get scared late at night so I’d carry a security blanket.
— Amir Gollan (@AGollan) September 10, 2013
If he’s like any of the other Chips in this town, Chip Kelly will celebrate by walking to Wawa & avoiding eye contact with everyone he sees.
— Chip Chantry (@ChipChantry) September 10, 2013
How many foot pounds of torque does this truck have and how come it feels extra good to hug my one fishing buddy?
— Tim Butterly (@timbutterly) September 10, 2013
Buying a single roll of toilet paper at a gas station means you’re probably failing as an adult.
— Mary Radzinski (@MaryRadzinski) September 10, 2013
My wife and Walter White react similarly when asked to cook. #BreakingBad
— Michael Rainey (@mikerainey82) September 10, 2013
Follow Free For All on Twitter for more retweets of the best jokes from Philadelphia comedians, information on our upcoming shows, and details about other Philadelphia-area shows that feature some of the comics you see on our stage.