Having a tough time choosing exactly where on my face I'm gonna put my "IVY LEAGUE – 4.0" tattoo.
— Joe Moore (@thejoemoore) September 5, 2013
What's got two thumbs, and will be using at least one of them to help lubricate the tip of his dog's penis, as per the vet's instructions?
— Chip Chantry (@ChipChantry) September 5, 2013
Seems my overall quality of life only increases with the amount of effort I generally put into everything. It's so dumb.
— Tim Butterly (@timbutterly) September 5, 2013
My idea of "Let's go out and get sloppy" has gone from "Let's get drunk" to "I'm going to eat saucy foods with no regard for my shirt."
— Jim Grammond (@jgrammond) September 5, 2013
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