Little League taught me that win or lose, I was going to ask to go out for cheeseburgers.
— Jim Grammond (@jgrammond) August 9, 2013
My mom is against tattoos because they're permanent and you won't know now what you'll want in 20 years, yet she had 2 kids #hypocrite
— James Hesky (@JamesHesky) August 9, 2013
I treat my life like an unpaid internship.
— Carolyn Busa (@misstoiletslave) August 9, 2013
I was teacher's pet in driver's ed. so I always got to ride with my head out the window.
— Amir Gollan (@Agollan) August 9, 2013
When I was a boy, I was taught that thunder is just the sound of the angels watching me get changed into my pajamas. #fear
— Chip Chantry (@ChipChantry) August 9, 2013
Follow Free For All on Twitter for more retweets of the best jokes from Philadelphia comedians, information on our upcoming shows, and details about other Philadelphia-area shows that feature some of the comics you see on our stage.