I don’t know anything about red wine. Is “Vinaigrette,” a good one?
— Doogie Horner (@DoogieHorner) July 8, 2013
“How was your fourth?” is interchangeable with “What’s your first name again?”
— Mary Radzinski (@MaryRadzinski) July 8, 2013
I bought a faux leather jacket when I was a vegetarian, but now that I eat meat again I stapled some animal pelts to it.
— Jim Grammond (@jgrammond) July 8, 2013
I’m 20 minutes early to work. Like some sort of person who appreciates the privilege of having a job. Who the fuck do I think I am.
— Mike Logan (@LoganDoesComedy) July 8, 2013
In 1643, a compulsive cleaner was arrested for blasphemy after he successfully un-stained all the village church’s glass windows.
— Mike.E (@mikeyjgarc) July 8, 2013
— Jim Ginty (@Jim_Ginty) July 8, 2013
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