“The pillows in the Lincoln Bedroom are so soft. What’s in them?” –White House Down
— Doogie Horner (@DoogieHorner) July 2, 2013
i don’t ‘dream big’ i just try to ‘nightmare small’
— Jim Ginty (@Jim_Ginty) July 2, 2013
My parents said they feared I’d get a girl pregnant when I was a teenager. If only their optimism about me having sex had been contagious.
— Jim Grammond (@jgrammond) July 2, 2013
Imagine how weird it must feel to be good at tennis?
— Joe Moore (@thejoemoore) July 2, 2013
What was that one Madonna song where she was singing about doing it?
— Chip Chantry (@ChipChantry) July 2, 2013
Ate my leftover Indian food while listening to some leftover Indian music.
— Amir Gollan (@Agollan) July 2, 2013
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