I’m the LeBron James of eating melted cheese; I don’t need the headband to keep the sweat out of my eyes, but it helps.
— Jim Grammond (@jgrammond) June 24, 2013
I bet Jay-Z has like four problems.
— Joe Moore (@thejoemoore) June 24, 2013
Life is like a box of chocolate viper eggs that hatch in your mouth.
— Doogie Horner (@DoogieHorner) June 24, 2013
George #Zimmerman attorney Don West told a knock knock joke in his opening statement today, because fuck it, stage time is stage time.
— Rob DeSantis (@RobDComedy) June 24, 2013
Homeless guy on the train just told a cop “You’re saying some shit just to say some shit.” I gotta use that one more often.
— Paul Triggiani (@PaulTrigg) June 24, 2013
Nice multi-color striped tank top, everyone.
— Tim Butterly (@timbutterly) June 24, 2013
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