“I like the way you work it. No diggity. I gotta bag it up.” –grocery store bagger to customer, moments before he’s fired
— Doogie Horner (@DoogieHorner) June 7, 2013
This weather is perfect for showing up at an ex girlfriend’s doorstep to explain how you can’t live without her
— James Hesky (@JamesHesky) June 7, 2013
Congrats to the federal government on obtaining what it needed for the National Dick Pic Depository.
— Jim Grammond (@jgrammond) June 7, 2013
“YOL9!” -My cat
— Steve Swan (@stevenhswan) June 7, 2013
Godspeed You! Snack Emperor – My obituary
— Tim Butterly (@timbutterly) June 7, 2013
TONIGHT! My Comedy Central half-hour airs at midni-… Wait.I meant, I’m at Stitches in Lancaster. Sorry for the confusion.
— Pat House (@BohemianPatsody) June 7, 2013
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