Everything sucks today, seriously fuck the worl…..never mind just found my keys.
— Jp Boudwin (@JpBoudwin) June 4, 2013
“BLONDES HAVE MORE FUN!” -Germany’s motto, circa 1938.
— Chip Chantry (@ChipChantry) June 4, 2013
I miss that “last day of school” feeling. I miss feeling.
— Mary Radzinski (@MaryRadzinski) June 4, 2013
I’m into high-stakes gambling, like closing my eyes while hitting the buttons on the vending machine.
— Jim Grammond (@jgrammond) June 4, 2013
I wish I was cool enough to not care if I accidentally killed a person.
— Aaron Nevins (@AaronNevins) June 4, 2013
Follow Free For All on Twitter for more retweets of the best jokes from Philadelphia comedians, information on our upcoming shows, and details about other Philadelphia-area shows that feature some of the comics you see on our stage.